Some thoughts written down...

I'm having trouble writing this post, but it's a topic that I've thought a lot about in the past year or so. I think I'm having trouble because everyone I talk to about this has a different opinion...but this is mine. Last weekend I was reintroduced to this topic through the speakers and the different circumstances I was faced with, and have been thinking a lot about it again...so, as I attempt to write it down, please feel free to disagree and to have your own opinion on this topic, but this is how I feel about it.

Regret. What does it mean? Why do people focus on it so much?

My feelings?: I personally don't believe in regret. It's such a negative characteristic, and to focus on something that you consider to be negative in your life is not healthy for the soul in terms of moving on and moving forward. Some of my friends disagree with me, and say that it can be valid to regret something you did, and want to change it...but I have a different word that I personally use for this concept. I like to say that I am not "proud" of some of my choices, as opposed to regretting different parts of my life. I'm not explaining this well. Regretting alludes to the fact that you wish it didn't (or did) happen. But if you wish it didn't happen, then where would you be today? (or if you wish that something did happen, what would happen to what HAS happened since that choice was made NOT to do that thing you now wish you did do...?)

I'm at my friends place right now, and we were talking over dinner (about something completely different, but quite relevant) about a movie that helps me explain this a bit more. We were discussing a movie called "Sliding Doors" which stars Gwyneth Paltrow. The concept is that her life splits into two parallel universes, based upon one difference (making the train home, and not making the train home) and shows how different both lives turn out. It turns out to deal with the concept of the "what if" game - which I choose not to play if I catch myself thinking "what if this....?" Anyways, in terms of regretting things - I think that if we regret something, it is like we are playing this what if game, and continuing to wish things may have been different and we didn't do that 'thing' we regret so much.

I, on the other hand, would prefer to just accept that what I have done, I have done. Whether or not I am proud (or another word could be ashamed) of those actions, doesn't really matter, because in the long run, who I am today, is based upon EVERY single decision I have made in my life - positive or negative.

So. Recap. Maybe. I believe that I am the person I am today because of the choices I have made in the past (especially as a young adult). I can tell you that I am not proud of all of my choices, but I cannot change the past, so I have to look to the future and to making positive choices and to focus on being active in my faith and moving forward with my life and my relationship in Christ.

That's how I think about this topic at least...