Sunday evening, some of the youth and I traveled to Leamington (farm town) for a youth worship evening. It was a great evening of praise and worship, but also filled me with some things to think about and challenge myself with.
I felt like the speaker was speaking directly into my life...well, I guess that would be God speaking directly to me...and it was exactly what I needed.
Something that I consciously know that I struggle with in my life is control. Most of the time I have trouble with the fact that I can't tell if a choice I am making is something that I am selfishly seeking, or if it is actually something that God wants me to do - I have a hard time deciphering between the two. The other situation I have trouble with, is when things get shaken up, and just trusting and knowing that God has control over the situation (even though I 'know' it, am I actually believing it?) - this 2nd idea is exactly what the speaker discussed. He talked about how there are two steps to faith - the 1st is believing, which for me I think has always been there as long as I can remember; and the 2nd is trusting, which is a choice I made a year and a half ago - but in which I still struggle with understanding exactly how it works.
One thing the speaker said that night that hit me hard was, "Most of the time it's not the actual event that is causing your life to shake, it's the uncertainty of the outcome and not knowing what will happen that causes your life to shake." HOW TRUE IS THAT?! When things are going well, I usually don't think twice about trusting God, but once there is a bit of trouble, I have to think about it and concentrate on the fact that I do trust Him with every part of my life, in order to feel okay with a bit of uncertainty, knowing that God will bring the best out of every situation if I allow Him to.
To be honest, I'm confusing myself within this post, so I apologize if you're confused. It's just something that has been on my heart lately. A famous saying says, "Life is only understood backwards, but can only be lived forwards." -- this saying helps me a bit more, as I realize that only after things have happened can I try to understand their purpose in my life, but my life only moves in a forward motion, so I'll have to wait and trust that God has a glorious purpose in all aspects of my life, during the good and bad times.
The band played this song near the end, and I felt it summed it up for me a bit. Helping me to remember that God sent His Son to die on the cross for my benefit. He wouldn't do that if he didn't know what He was doing. So, if He can do that, then He can have control over my life, as He knows better then I do what's going on in this broken world.
Lead Me To The Cross
At the end, the speaker left us by asking, "Why are you afraid?" His 'sermon' ended up being geared towards ones that don't necessarily have faith in their life, but I'd challenged myself and asked myself this question. I'm struggling with the answer, maybe because I don't want to face the fact that maybe I am afraid of something...just what? Hmmm. Food for thought I guess...
Lord Almighty, I thank you that you are in control and know everything about me. Lord, help me when I doubt to know your power, mercy, and grace over my life. Help me to glorify you in all my choices and decisions as I seek where my path is headed next. Lord, hold your loving arms around me when I'm afraid, and keep me safe and warm when I struggle. Thank you for your overflowing amount of love and forgiveness. Words cannot express how thankful I am that you are in control, because I cannot live in this broken world without the strength you give me. You are amazing. In Your Sons holy name, Amen.
I know exactly what you mean. I struggle with it as well, the control aspect especially. But your totally right... God is the consistent and He knows best. Its up to us to trust Him, and when we do, He's right there waiting to lead us in HIs will. Its so amazing.
ReplyDeleteI love you a lot. Praying for you and can't wait to see you!